I’ve been pondering, when people talk about intimacy most of the time, what do they really mean? Is it always about sex?
For me, I would say true and pure intimacy is all about closeness. Someone might say, “sex is what connect two people together.” Oh well, that’s not totally wrong, as sex has its own power, but there are certain kind of closeness only sex can’t give, only true and pure intimacy outside sex can birth that friendship one crave in their partner.
Does that mean sex is bad? Heck no, sex is great and the Creator designed it on purpose and that purpose is beautiful beyond comprehension, but then, sex isn’t the only way to feel connected to a person. And if the physical is all we crave, then we really do not know what we want. Yes, sex is great, but it’s not necessarily always about sex first.
The question is, can you and your partner have great, deep, challenging, mind-blowing conversation without the sex first and still be good at the end of the day? Please note that, sometimes, as couples, sex might come first before addressing some issues, it all depend on the mood and or settings, but then again, can you and your partner address very difficult and pressing issues without the sex first too? You see, only true and pure intimacy can help with that.
Sadly, these days, young people have abused sex, they just want sex, they just want it to satisfy their enormous urge without understanding what that alone is doing to them as a person. Intimacy is more about two souls deeply connected in ways no one can comprehend. This include emotionally, spiritually, physically and the like. When there is no emotional attachment it won’t always go well with each other. Intimacy is when both partners can freely be themselves, talk about anything and everything with each other, being vulnerable without being afraid, continuously trusting, with naked soul and unashamed with each other. Seeing beyond the physical, seeing through the souls of each other.
I also think intimacy this really helpful in the sense that, both partners would understand better ways to care for each other’s needs by paying attention to details with eyes locked on each other as they communicate, touching as you listen and laughing where it’s necessary. Communication and comprehension is easy in this setting. Friendship is needed as couples, and so, truly listening to understand without being judgmental is easy in this setting, here you can truly listen to learn from each other, here correction is easy to give and take, here sex is easy without being forceful.
To be honest, this is what true intimacy is about for me, and finding someone with whom you can truly connect with, is priceless! I think it would be nice for people to understand this, that it is more about the vibe—the connection. And that if there is no connection, true and pure intimacy will be difficult to achieve and one or both partners might crave that in someone else which isn’t healthy.
Understand that there is a difference between a deep connection with someone and just being with someone. Crave a connection, not just the body for sex.
What is your definition of intimacy? I would love to read different views on what intimacy means to you.
Enjoy the rest of your day you all; much love!