If there was anything quarantine taught me, it would be the art of listening more. Although, I’m quite good at listening, but I discovered I wasn’t so good when my younger sister sometimes complain about me not listening.
I’m the quiet one and barely talk only when push come to shove; I mostly respond with a smile and just keep my mouth shut. This has helped me stay very observant, paying attention to details, listening and trusting my intuition. Howbeit, I marvel when people think the way I write is the same way I talk. Although, I’m somewhat a talkative with those I’m familiar with, and this still boils down to me needing my space once in awhile in the end.
However, my younger sister on the other hand loves to talk. There isn’t a dull moment with her at least for those who love the company of people who talk too much. Every now and then she’s talking and once she begin to talk, I either walk away and find a quiet place which is our room or begin to chit chat or start listening to music. And to be honest this isn’t a good one. I’m sure she feels despised when I do that. It wasn’t like I was intentionally doing those though, I only felt she talks to much and I just wanted to be.
Hence, each time she’s talking everywhere would be noisy to me, but immediately she stops, I feel the quietness and serenity in that moment and it would occur to me immediately that I just missed a wonderful moment I would have spent listening to my sister by giving her just a little of my time. I would shamefully turn to her and ask; “were you talking to me initially?” her response always stayed the same; “so upon all I said you didn’t hear anything? That’s why I don’t like talking with you sometimes.” Which implied that has been a continuous art for a while. Sad isn’t it? Yes, it is quite sad. No one wants to feel ignored, not even myself.
I always felt sorry for that statement. And I tried my best to turn a new leaf and do right by cautioning myself about it during the quarantine. The universe was so kind to me, and the other day she began talking again and I had headphone on, I saw her lips moving and I also kind of heard her say; “are you listening to me?” And I stopped what I was doing completely and chose to give her 100% of my time by listening and I was glad I did.
I understood what she wanted, that her pain was I do not always listen, so that day, I chose to stop everything around me and listen to her express herself. Truth is, I didn’t have to say anything to her, I mean, she knew whatever I would have given as an advice or words of encouragement to her, but I listened anyway, because that was all she truly wanted and or needed—a listening ear. Sometimes, I think people get solutions to whatever their challenges are by getting someone listen to them with no response on the listeners part.
I often pay attention to her more now when she’s trying to express herself by simply stopping whatever I’m doing, and paying attention to her. And the fun thing is, the more I listen to her talk, the more I get to understand her personality, the more I fall in love with her.
And guess what? This isn’t beneficial to her alone, but me also. It began to make a part of me feel fulfilled. It brought more joy and laughter to my face.
You see, I think genuine practice of listening is a good habit and it would be awesome that we all cultivate it, as it will help us in all other areas of life. In John C. Maxwell book titled: Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, it says that, “it’s not enough just to work hard. It’s not enough to do a great job. To be successful, you need to learn how to really communicate with others.” He also stated in the book that, “connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.” Also, I would add that he said, “connecting goes beyond words. The more you do to go beyond words, the greater the chance you will connect with people.”
I know it’s sometimes not easy to listen. But it is said that, “practice make excellent.” Practice the art of listening more and become perfect at it with time.
Saved post from the year 2020, during the lockdown.
Read also: Be Kinder To Yourself
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