Whom To Marry

So when you know who you are, you wouldn’t just settle for just anyone when it comes to marriage. Each time I tell people I can’t marry someone who can’t lead me, some would say don’t say that. But it’s the truth, when you know yourself, you wouldn’t want to marry someone who wouldn’t be strong enough to handle your person and or lead you, someone you wouldn’t proudly follow as a woman, because when you do, you’ll end up in regrets and would keep being pissed on a daily basis for the poor choice you made. If you were submitting to him at first, later, it will become a challenge and even difficult to keep submitting to someone who can’t lead you, someone who may even feel insecure or intimidated by your success and growth. It makes you become disrespectful in a way because you have a man who can’t lead you.

Now, someone might say, why not teach him? We know most men have ego and do not want to be controlled. So even when you try to politely or gently teach him, he might still feel like, why are you trying to tell me that, am I a baby? Not everyone wants to be taught, not everyone wants to learn, not everyone wants to genuinely grow and keep evolving. So it would be better to not even get involved with someone who is not humble and teachable. As a man, being the head requires you leading gently in love, while the woman follow and not the other way around.

A man who has come to know himself first (this knowing of self is very important), and feel secure within himself, will also feel secure with your growth as his partner and will give you his support 100% every step of the way. A man who is a good leader will sometimes not be in the spotlight, but always be behind you, supporting your growth and cheering you on. People would see you shinning, but it’s all because there’s that one man behind the scenes, lighting your fire, pushing you, encouraging you, giving you all the love and support you need, and that alone can make a woman glow differently. And hey! This goes both ways too. You as a woman have got to be his greatest cheerleader too as it takes two who are truly ready to put in the effort required of them to work and support each other’s growth.

Read also: 11 Questions Parents Should Ask Their Child Before Marriage

Truth is, when you talk down on her, you talk down on yourself too. When you build her up, you are automatically building yourself up too.

A woman is a God given asset. Start today by building her up and giving her all the support that she needs, you would be amazed at how much greatness she would turn out to be. And women, if there is a man in your life who is truly leading you right, please, make sure to submit to him 100% and not the other way around. Make things easy for each other. Speak life into your man, he needs it from you first and always. Be a light–his light and sunshine. Men make it easy too, by doing right by her.

However, I have come to also realize that when there is an unresolved issue between spouses, especially the ones they do not want to talk about, it becomes very difficult to express love and give support to each other. It makes them grow cold on each other and in turn become hardened at heart towards each other. It would be lovely to always try to resolve conflict or whatever issues you have as couples to enable you two to keep giving and growing in love. It’s not easy yea? But it’s possible for two partners who are willing. All it requires are two willing hearts.

Be more intentional in your dealings.

Read also: Choosing the Right Life Partner

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Love and light!

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